Yrri Quita Say?

Culture is absolutely important part in life. For me I'm very fortunate to be part of 2 very stong cultures. But what makes me very upset with myself is that I don't know much of my own language.
Growing put I was spoke Shona (Zimbabwean native tongue) and English. I was able to talk to all my family in both Zimbabwe and Zambia. My father being of pure south Indian background knew the language but he couldn't speak it flutently. So in the house we mainly talked English to each other.
Both my grandparents on both sides of the family are still alive. Well yesterday I talked to my Ambuya (grandmother) in Africa. She doesn't know much english but she said, "Sonia, you ah speaking Shona?" And all I could reply was "Yrri Quita Say?" Means How are you. And she went on saying " I'm doing fine, when are you coming my dear?" Then from there I lost what she said. I really can't believe I can't speak it much. When I came to the states I was told that I was mixing up my english with Shona and Tamil (my father's language. So it was very hard for me to communicate. So I had a mentor who took me out taught me alot of stuff alot of American ways. LOL. She even introduced me to country music. lol. Which I liked. So after a while my mother began to notice that I wasn't speaking Shona. So she thought I forgot it. And from then on my mom and I spoke english to each other. Except the occasional screaming/cursing she would do. lol.
I mean I really want to. I feel left out in convos with either side of the family. Its as thou I've lost touch with my culture. I can "figure" out what ppl are saying to me when they are talking Shona if I recognize some familiar word but not to a full extent.
I do try to ask my aunt who speak fluently 5 languages how to say stuff. I WILL speak Shona...oh and my dream language...to speak Chinese.

hair hair and more hair

Yes I've been saying for a long time that I was going to get my hair cut. Well yesterday was the day. I went after my calculus test. I went to lunch with my friend to Shells so yeah Mami's breath was fresh with shrimp. lol. Anyways I went to Apryle who was recommended by my twin Shauntae (she's really not my twin but we look at like). Anyways I found the style I wanted...Layers in the back while keeping my longest length still there. (It took me 2 year to make this hair grow mid-back) And Yes I got BANGS!! Wow I remember when I first had bangs back in 8th grade because my boyfriend at the time said I had a big forehead. I'm comfortable in my skin now, but change is good. Ooooweeee when my hair was done, I was like *DAMN this is all my hair. It was full. It looked like I had added weave. I love it. You know I walked outta that peice with my hair swinging. lol. AHhh but the day wasn't really trying to have that. It started to rain. I neva ran so quick.lol. Oh man I had neva gotten threaded before. Tears started forming. Ahhh. But it looked good in the end. It didn't leave that light skined patch that waxing does and it all the hard to get hairs were gone. I'd go back again for that even though it made me cry.
Well long live the hair.

I've been wanting to talk about this for a while now...

Well I'm a person who is fascinated by the human body. I guess that why I want to become a doctor. I remember way back when I was I think in 7th or 8th grade how I was just so obsessed in how my body looked. Not saying that I was aneorexic or anything but just that I was completely obsessed with muscles. I loved the attention from the guys especially the jocks. I would constantly read articles on how to improve my body. I believe the best shape of my life was when I ran track. Okay I'm going to be real conceded but hey I have the right to!! My body was banging. 6 pack, calves like whoa, back muscles tones, bullets in my arms. Pushing like 400lb on the leg presses all to show off of course. It really killed my shins later on. The whole nine, I felt I had it. I looked up to alot of people for my inspiration in how I looked. I remember Alaiha Smiley...man this girl was all I wanted to be atheletic-wise. I guess women have to tendency to compare themselve to other women. I wanted to look like her. She was an all-star athelete and she carried herself well in school. I just began training like it was no tomorrow. I remember I just COULD NOT live with myself if I didn't excercise atleast to the point where an ocean of sweat was on me. Literally. So i started eating like only bread. My diet was weird as anything.
Well later on as I began to realize that my feminine features (breasts and hips) were not showing as much as they should've been so I kinda began to lay off of the excercise.
I am just going to end like this I'm glad I didn't end up like this...

What is this??? 

Thank you God I didn't end up like this. I LOVE YOU GOD!

Okay Okay I'm going to Confess

Yes I finally figured out how to do this picture thing...after months of blogging and my boyfriend knowing pretty much all about how to put pic and never asking him...I figured this out...lol. Well anyways I will NOW put pictures. Add a little spice in this if you feel me.

Taking Note

I've taken note about this lately:
1. I can't sleep a whole night without waking up wide awake
2. My nose is running
3. I'm getting real close with him
4. I've met alot of nice people at school
5. I have friends
6. That I don't like people getting my number from other people. uh-um
7. I can't understand calculus
8. I'm very interested in different cultures
9. I need to start taking things easy, not rushing
10. I can't go to clubs with my friends
11. I'm not doing so good with keeping in touch with God
12. I don't pray as much as I should
13. I'm trying to be independant!
14. It seems like when I wear something warm its hot
15. When I wear something light its cold
16. I finally know how to use a scanner
17. I don't know as much as I should know
18. My sister started cursing! Did I provoke this? Was it me? I don't really curse
19. He's really trying to do good for our relationship, am I acknowledging him for it?
20. Its like most men I meet at school are ALWAYS being compared to my South Fla. Connet
21. My nose is still running

Help is on the Way!! 
22. I'm still very shy
23. When I talk its hard for people to hear me...I need to talk louder
23. I'm always writing in short...I neva <---example ....
24. Lately, I do dress preppy or is it just I dress nice
25. My room needs to be cleaned
26. I can't live without my cell phone...I go crazy without it
27. I'm not sure if I want a "mall" job...is that the same category as working at a fast food place

Well yeah I'm out... It's late I gotta try to count sheep or something...this insomnia odd...

Let's Go Lions!!!

Copped out my old school last night at their basketball game. They were playing against St. John Christian. Knowning who I was I didn't pay the usual $2. As I slowly walked near the base line of the court all these memories of basketball came.
As I walked passed the other team I don't they recognized me as my attire was different from the times they had seen me in my Lion's uniform. I saw Patricia, this is the story about Patricia and me...
I came to HCA the beginning of my 9th grade year. As I had been playing in my old school I wished to continue on with it as I went to high school. Not to brag but my skills were passed alot of people of the team and my coach put me on the team. As I became the starting setter, not knowing that I had just taken the Patricia's spot. There was alot of tension between us. Well as she thought it was over when Volleyball season ended more was to come in Basketball. Now basketball is MY sport. I have alot of passion for it...my coach saw that in me too. Well it happened, I took Patricia's spot as starting guard. I came to find out from my coach that she wasn't fast enough. Man if you saw the way she ran especially on the court you'd prolly get mad too. Well after a couple years she got her place as a starter again naw she didn't replace me just someone else. As I learned in my senior year, it wasn't that she had beef with me just she was being pushed way too much by her father. Those type of parents that start screaming at their child if they do something wrong. Man if we eva saw the man with some high white socks up to his calves it'd be Mr. Gavin. Always coming to give her "advise" after every quarter. Then she'd get mad and take it out on her teammate.
These are some few highlights I had over the years playing basketball...
Ooooweee I do remember my freshman year playing against Citrus Park...We need just a few more points. So coach told us to foul so we could buy some time off the clock. She said, "Guys do anything just draw a goul." Me all intense..."So you mean push them?" "Yeah do what you can." Well me being naive I took that to heart. The girl that was going to have the ball I was going to do what eva to draw the foul. Once the ball was impounded I fan and pushed this girl. Damn she was a big girl too. The whistle blew O but not for a foul, a technical. I was so confused. "Coach I thought you told me I could push her?" Coach was really upset. Everybody on the team called that the bull play. Cuz I was like those wild bulls out to kill.
Anotha highlight was when Rachelle Colsen came on the team in 10th grade. Ma' was very much a lil devil. She's the one that introduced us to hitting the bottom of the salt and pepper shaker with a coin so that when someone would pick it up it'd go all over the place. Another time Rachelle and I thought of chugging 3 or 4 energy drinks b4 the game against Grace Christian(I remember that sschool cuz of the annoying floor when people ran it'd sound like horses). I had neva been so pumped in my life. We were both all hyper. Oh but after 2 quarter we both began to loose our high. My knees began to shake. Maybe it was all in my mind. I had alot of fun with her. Why'd you have to graduate girl? We could've failed you.
I really don't recall a whole lot in my 11th grade year...I was going through a rough time in my life. I'll blog about another day...Oh wait I broke my wrist going up for a lay-up this chick tried to block me and as I went down I tried to catch my fall and yes after braggin that I had never broken a bone to one of my friends a couple weeks earlier I did just that. Its funny how things just catch up to you.
Senior year...we finally moved into a FHSAA conference. Now finally people were recognizing us in the newspaper. No I did not get us lost from the game coming home. We were in Inverness a place I used to stay in a long time ago. So my coach was kind of lost. So I said I knew the way back. Infact I did, but "accidentally" we went to far and missed the street. Hey atleast I told them we went to far. Eva since then my Coach makes fun of me saying, "Arisona, you got us lost"
But yes it worked off alright at the end. I got MVP and was one the Allstar team cuz I was ranked fourth in the county for basketball. I had some real fun experiences.

The "Other" Box

Okay as you may know from reading my profile...I am mixed. Indian and African. As I call it the best of both worlds. The culture is real strong in both these nations. Its real interesting that these two individuals (my parents)for completely different backgrounds got married. Easily my father could have married an Indian woman through arranged marriage. Luckily he went to Zambia and met my mom. Otherwise there would be no me.
Itz obvious sometimes when Ppl stare at me wondering what I am. Wow especially when I go to Indian functions. In my mind I know very well that ppl think I'm black in an Indian chudithar. But then when I point out that I'm Kumar's child they understand the I'm Indian.
When I was in Zimbabwe about 2 1/2 years ago I could very much tell that my people new that I was mixed. I recall walking down the street one day and these dudes started shouting "India!" Oh but I remember very well when I was 9 I went to the park with my mom in Zimbabwe. We were walking past these street kids and all of a sudden I hear in my native tongue (Shona) "Murungu." I recalled that one of my grandmothers was called Gogo Murungu...I asked my mother what they just called me and she began to laugh saying "They called you white." HUH? White...As I got older I began to realize that that only ment that I was light skinned.
Alot of ppl think automatically that I'm Spanish...They see I have a long hair and my complexion is different. Wow especially here where I live I am literally accused of being: Venezualan, Chinese, Puerto Rican, Polonesian, Trinidadian.

But the thing that kind of bothers me is I can't just tell people I'm Indian or just African...Of course on my birth certificate I'm Indian or Asian...But when ppl ask me what nationality are you I have to say Indian and African. I made the mistake one time in telling this guy I was Asian and African. Out of amazement he thought Asian ppl were Chinese only.

The most annoying thing is when I'm asked to fill out what race I am...they ask for pick one. It takes me a while sometimes to put it...I mean I'm both. I can't be one without the other.

But I know that I check off the "Other" box.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Wow 2004 is absolutely a thing of the past. Now I know I'll mess up in writing 04 on the date a couple times this month. Let me think upon this year and Remminesse by months.
January 2004-
I am recupperating from the 10 classes(Biology,Latin2,English,Physics,Bible,Statistics,Pre-Cal,Yearbook,another Statistics) I'm going to have to look at my transcript. I had for the fall semester. I believe that was the ultimate hell that semester. I think I was really trying to kill myself. Well I accomplished it. I mean that I finished the classes.
I'm in my last year of varsity basketball. Damn only a couple more games and then I'm done.I've been accepted to a couple schools but I'm looking for Miami's acceptance letter. I'm busy looking in the mail like everyday.
February 2004
I go to Atlanta, GA. for Presidential Classroom.
I go to homecoming- Yes since I went a small private school it takes a while to get money. And yes I must brag I got Homecoming Queen...After 2 years of winning Lady I finally got what I deserved. Man I so rememba like homecoming I had to be home by like 10:30. Isn't that some bootie for you?!
March 2004
Busy wit more of the 10 classes.
Getting ready for May to come...Senior Cruise and Graduation
Oh I can't forget I saw my 6 after a whole year.
April 2004
Brain Bowl-Ooowwee I had a good time. Drinking water!!! (wink-wink) We lost due to unfortunate information about the changes of this year competition. Everybody studied questions and no one studied books. Oh well things happen.
OOOO and Grad Bash at Universal Studios...Imagine a group of Christian girls at a foam party at a section where no one could see us we went loose and yes Laura and Janel I have your pictures. Yes yes I had my fun.
Prom- it sucked that's all I can say
May 2004
Finals week I'm very much ready. I remember looking at my classmates knowning that this was it, the last time I'd prolly see any of them. I didn't get accepted to Miami but I was accepted to FIU. FIU holla!!
Okay senior cruise. I remember vividly this...the day b4 the cruise I got in so much trouble. I thought I wouldn't go. Thank God I was able to go...all my work as Senior President and I wasn't able to join my class in our cruise. Belize and Cozumel were awesome. I was good!! (wink-wink) Who was in her room every night for check in? :-)
I get back and the next week busy getting ready for Graduation. Oh yeah I missed my other graduation during my crusie. Shoot what would you do cruise or graduation? Yes that's what I thought cruise. I graduated with my AA degree. But the one I was looking forward too was high school graduation. Got my dress, nails, and yes got my weave put in. You would have neva known if I didn't tell. lol. When I got my diploma I knew that I had accomplished something truely on my own and was very proud to hold it in my hands.Oh and I had a graduation party. Crazyness having the cops and ambulance come. I had a good time.
June
Chill
July
Went to Alaska, Vegas, and New York for vaction
August
College starts Not my first choice actually it was my last choice.What went wrong?
September
Chemistry killing me
Last Damn Show
Usher Concert
Level 3
October
See my 6 again
November
Getting ready for finals
December
Neva thought I'd do it but I did saw my 6
Jetskiing!!!

Okay well last year I had a resolution but now this year I think I'm just going to say "I want to do better in everything I did 2004" That's it. I know alot of things are probably going to happen. I'm just going to just shake that negativity and just flow to better horizons.

Well Happy New Year !!!