If I am my reflection of him...

Tonight I went to the India Irie concert and for the first time I cried at an event like this...I've just been going through alot within my life and she spoke with her words so much that I've gone through, with God, family, school, love, and just life. I am literally inspired. As she sang The Truth, and she sang the line "Cause he's the truth, said he is so real, and I love the way he make me feel, And if I am a reflection of him then I must fly, cause he his the light, it shines so bright..." I thought about my relationship with my God, If I am a reflection of Jesus then I must fly, I want to be that close to my God. I don't want any interruption with my flight. He is the truth and nothing else can make up for him yet at times I don't listen to the truth but lies. He makes me feel so warm, so at home, when you know someone/something has hit you heart and it went straight to you throat, he's there to heal it. You know that feeling. And India said something that really hit home when she entered the stage and spoke about the album. It is a healing process, first it must be within. Some people come to leave. WOW really I'm stating what she said again...SOME PEOPLE COME TO LEAVE. How real is that? An exceptionally true statement of how we meet someone and then things are working well and then leave, but with that leaving you are left with something they brought to you, something you learned. I just wonder how many people I have done that to. and how many have done it to me too. Well I know my God will never leave me that is the ONLY thing I know is real and is of truth.

Kudzy in '06

Well the semester ended pretty well. One accomplishment is that I have gotten closer to God, and more stronger in my faith than ever. From reading what I was writing about 2 years ago on theis blog, I realized that I can't have someone move me. THat I literally make someone my King when really there is only 1 King. I have to grow and that's what its come to.
Yes yes I won the Miss International Pageant 2006! It has been a highlight of this beginning of the year. Like I said for my motto "Bigger and Better for '06" I've proved it right here, and I'm going to keep on. I'm not going to stop. I really know something is out there that God has planned for me to express to the world. I want to be that light.

Washing love

Could God be the greatest MC?
To have thought it out in His Words
for that heavenly beat.
Putting everything in tune He saw it
When those two perfect strangers met
not knowing what steps to take
Just ready to move with the beat of His drums.
It could be like the washing machine with the number 6
Pressed with the touch for the 7 step cycle
Jolted by the excitement of energy from heaven
Our souls containing so much joy and harmony
But as time ran out
My joy and memories were not drained
but cleaned for more love to happen

Am I becoming addicted to spice, the taste heat on my tongue and the cooled by the rest of my mouth. I'm talking about hot sauce. Lawd I think I am hooked. I used to never want spicy foods, but now the burning feels good. I guess I'm putting this into context of life. You know that is the stuff that is embedded into the long term memory. It seems like the hot things usually stick more with you in life and you learn to appreciate the cool at subtle things that happen within life. I wish cool was with me at all times but I guess I need to taste spice to appreciate the cool. Hff. Ight I'm going to get bk to what I know right now.

My rubberband man

Oh yes engaged with the deep southern style of non otha than the King himself. T.I.
I have to say that the only person I'm looking forward to seeing at Wild Splash this year. Maybe Ne-yo also, just like Holly was saying that's our theme song of the year. Girl is a trip. Pictures Pictures, I seriously need a camera. This will probably be my only fun this spring break. Everybody is going down south to MIA, bahamas, antigua and me I'm just stuck in good ol' Spring Hill. Well I have to work on my pagent stuff and papers for the upcoming weeks. I am trying to finish all of my online work for all my classes. And then concentrate of Organic Chem 2 and Physics bio-med 2 while reading the Cosbyology book. This is a real funny book. Lets get going I gotta look good for my boi T.I.

Mystery...

Mystery why is it your got me in the hold that eventhough I thought you didn't want me I let go. Now that I've let go that's not what I want. I want you Mystery. Its because I knew that this would happen, you won't take me back. Behind the curtain again I'm in line waiting for your cue. All this time why is it you were waiting on my cue. Shit is so different now. I walk with this heavy ass burden that can't be taken off as much as I try to alleviate it. I wanted to seek it on a spiritual level that why I was moving in a direction of a person I wanted on the level I wanted to be at. No not meaning be with that person but be more like that person, as a mentor, a confidante , an outlet to my fear. I did use your words in vain. I'm sorry for that, that is the worst thing, but cheating I can't even describe it like that. Cheating to me is being intimate with another while already committed to another person. I was NEVER, God knows, Never initimate. A hug when you greet someone, is initmate? no. When you walk next to the person in conversation is initimate? no. Have I just defined it in the wrong way. Yes in ways I did express myself it seemed intimiate, but not in the way of that. Do you understand why this happened? I want to know from an older person how to deal with obstacles ahead. I know I treated you as a king. Never did I put you at my feet. I was afraid of it going to far, yes, and I do appologize for that Mystery. God knows I love you with my heart. Constant disapproval around me and with you its always open arms and warmth, I did take that for granted. Send my regards to Ms. Mystery, because she'll treat you better. Yes I'm upset I let you go, the best thing in my life I let go. To some bs that I couldn't prevent, it just happened, and you know what I'm talking about Mystery.
Trust trust, I hope it can still be said again.

Beauty is only skin deep